Lifetime - Julia Ho

Five years ago, I opened the door

Stood there just staring through the frame

I felt it right then, the fear and the joy

But I've been keeping it in for a lifetime

Fast forward to now, I'm still staring right through

I wish I could just take a small step or two

Locked in my heart is a truth I've been hiding

I've been keeping it in for a lifetime

I wish I could tell you what's going on inside

So let's go on a journey for a long, long ride

Instead I just choke on the tears and the lies

Cuz I've been holding it in for a lifetime

I'll ponder and putter till I can see clearly

I'm keeping my secrets from the ones who love me dearly

Through the harshest storms and every sky full of rain

Someday soon the sun will shine through a pocket in the grey

My soul has hurt and my heart has bled

I'm still waiting for my first breath

High tide and low tide; ebb and flow until now

Hiding truth won't hide the pain, so I should love her just the same

I wish I could tell you what's going on inside

So let's go on a journey for a long, long ride

Instead I just choke on the tears and the lies

Cuz I've been holding it in for a lifetime

I made my way through what felt like life drifting away

Rock bottom knows me well, but so does love I'd say

In the eye of the storm now, sail well-loved and worn

Held in for a lifetime, now peaceful and warm